1. Heineken

Heineken suffers from many flaws, such as taste, douche-ness, and being expensive without being good. However, the most egregious problem with Heineken is their currently shitty ad campaign.

Back in the day, Heineken used good ads to bond with consumers--it was the kind of beer that people "in the know" wanted to drink. Now, it has become the kind of beer that people from Dallas drink while wearing shiny shirts and talking about how awesome their leased 3-series is. Yikes, not so good. Let me describe a recent Heineken ad for you:

Guy shows up at a party with a Heineken mini-keg, a huge sandwich (with smoked gouda) and can't open the door. Another guy sees him struggling, grabs the mini-keg to "help" and waltzes in the door acting like he brought the beer. He is now the life of the party, and all women swoon to his mini-keg tapping abilities.

What is this ad saying, that total douchebags love to drink Heineken? The original guy needs to write this party off as a lost cause and smash the beer thief in the face with the sandwich. I mean, he's already been shunned for bringing an inferior party favor, but this way he can guarantee that the other guy at least gets what he has coming. THIS MAN NEEDS TO BE EXPOSED! He's a fraud, a cheapskate, and a royal douche. and he drinks Heineken.

So I'm boycotting Heineken, because ads like this are so bad I never want to be associated with a product like this ever again.

Why this site exists

Remember the last time you were so angry you threw a remote control through your television set? No? Well, I don't either, and I'd like to keep it that way.

Still, there are tons of things that frustrate me much more than they ever should. That's just something I have to deal with, and if I'm going to deal with it, why not do that in a public forum, right?

So here it is--Things I'm Boycotting. Because there are tons of idiots out there that have no idea how stupid their ideas really are. Many of these people work at advertising agencies and thusly subject the rest of us consumers to their "great ideas." The only way to get back at these people? Boycott the products they sell, or call them morons on the internet. Or both. Ok, so there's nothing we can do to actually "get back at them" but they still need to be mocked. Here we go.